A commitment to refocus

Refocus: To change the emphasis or direction of.

 I have been contemplating what I feel God wants me to share and after a great deal of spiritual highs and lows over the last week, I have finally landed on refocus. Back in January (wow time has flown by), I shared my word for the year as focus. I knew this word would stretch me and make me work really hard to stay on task with all God wanted me to do. I would love to write this blog and list out for you all the amazing ways I have stayed focused this year (that would be arrogant on my part anyway, right?), but to be completely honest I have fallen very short. Don't get me wrong, I do believe I have been in His will, but I believe I may have missed out on some great things He had planned for me by getting side-tracked and allowing fear and doubt to overwhelm me.

 Here goes the hard part for me, vulnerability. What have I been doing? Staying busy, running from one thing to the next, saying yes when I should say no and losing sight of His plan. Last week, I was challenged by my pastor about increasing the capacity in my life. He asked us to get vulnerable and really search where we are lacking in the five areas he shared (confidence, connections, competency, character and commitment) and change that area to increase our capacity.  The area that I was challenged to change was not one I felt I really struggle with, but I definitely felt God's prompting me in the area of commitment. Wait, what commitment, I thought I was displaying commitment? I left a job I loved, with people I loved to do something that makes me no money just because God told me to, isn't that commitment? Well yes, but God wanted so much more from me than just one step of faith.  When I started to evaluate why I was not committing in the way I should, God showed me that I wasn't living a life of true faith, but was being ruled by fear and doubt. Questions that swirled through my mind like, Did I make a mistake? What if I fail? What if I can't reach anyone? Why are things not happening faster? What have I done? had been allowed to take up a permanent  residence in my mind.

 Now I am back on the right road called focus taking steps of faith each day, following after my Creator and allowing Him to take up residence in my mind and heart and overtake those questions, doubts, fears and worries. I am determined to be focused on the right things and I pray the same for your life, don't miss out on what God has planned in and through you!

A new beginning.....

I started this blog a year and a half ago with the initial hope that God could used my story to help others affected by infertility, little did I know the journey that God would take me on and where my life would be today. Since beginning the blog I realized I have truly been giving a calling that was beyond simple sharing my story, but was something that would change me, my family, my job and my life. So this week is a new beginning for me. I am starting my first small group this week focused on families affected by infertility. I truly believe it is only the beginning of what God has planned for Helping the Hannahs. I am feeling overwhelmed, anxious, small and terrified, but most importantly I am feeling called by God to something bigger than me and bigger than the small things that so many times bog us down in this world. I would appreciate any prayers, support and spreading the word y'all could give me. I would love to share with you our updated Mission Statement and Core Values that my very talented husband, Darren helped write and make sound so much more beautiful than anything I can write. I am also going to be sharing our small group meeting information for those interested as well as our Facebook page. Thanks in advance for all the prayers and support!

 Helping the Hannahs Missions Statement: 
Taking infertility from an "off limits" topic to one that is openly addressed by confronting it head-on in providing support to those affected by it through small group resources, as well as medical and adoption resources.

Our Core Values: 
1. Provide comfort and support through small group interactions.
2. Offer support and comfort to the emotional, mental and spiritual needs of those affected by infertility.
3. Provide forums where speakers can offer words of encouragement and knowledge to those affected by infertility.

 Small Group Meetings:
Beginning Thursday, May 16th at 6:30 PM
Western Oaks Tower 7300 NW 23rd Street Bethany, OK

 For more information or to let us know you are coming:
Contact Amy Currin
E-mail: currinfamily@cox.net
Phone: 405-476-0165

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/HelpingTheHannahs

Positivity & Pride

It is hard to believe I have not been working in a full-time capacity for almost 3 months. I fully expected to be much further into setting-up my non-profit and to be in a very regular, daily routine. Instead, I find myself each day taking baby steps and seeing what God has planned for me. As I shared in my last blog, my word for this year is focus. This has led me down a very difficult path and spiritually God has simply been breaking me down and helping me re-discover His plan and purpose for my life. This brings me to my title of positivity and pride. I have always considered myself a positive, glass half-full type of person, but I am quickly discovering a not so great character flaw of pride. My positivity and pride have recently been on a collision course. God has quite simply been breaking me of my pride and speaking to me about being more open, honest and authentic. I will share these struggles in the hope it will help others who have a similar problem with pride and to also allow me to be the authentic person God has called me to be. I started hormone replacement therapy in November. Within three weeks of starting it, I begin to have pain. I informed my doctor and my hormones were adjusted and eventually changed. About six weeks later I went from having pain to having severe, sometimes debilitating pain. After visiting with my doctor more, she informed me that it was most likely endometriosis that had not died off after my hysterectomy and that starting the hormones had allowed it to grow further. This will require stopping the hormones, having treatment for the endometriosis, having some further testing and seeing another specialist to check out some areas the endometriosis may have spread to. This diagnosis was devastating and very difficult to accept especially because of how long I have battled endometriosis and the belief that the hysterectomy would allow it to be gone. I have been very private and very proud and have chosen to not share how truly difficult and painful this has been. Even those close to me have been given the staunch, it hurts, but I am okay and it's not too bad answer. I am quite frankly embarrassed to share especially given my long history of dealing with this illness. My very smart and wise husband called me on this last week. After a particularly hard and painful day, he kindly told me that I need to open up and let others know my struggles and allow them to support and love me. I have to admit, I was very angry at him at first for calling me out, but I eventually realized he was right. I have been so caught up in constantly being positive and not wanting to burden others and in being extremely proud and afraid of being vulnerable that I have robbed myself of the joy of support, love and prayers. I am blessed with an amazing group of friends and family that want to love and support me, if I only I let go of my pride and let them in. I truly believe that is one of the reasons God puts people in our lives so that we can support and love them and we can also be supported and loved. It is impossible for us to love, support, encourage, pray and be there for each other if we do not let go of our pride, open up and be vulnerable. Who do you need to open up to? Who do you need to ask for prayer from? Please join with me in letting go of our pride, being vulnerable and sharing our pain, we will never know how blessed our life can be until we do!

Focus

Happy New Year and I am finally am back to blogging! December was spent focused on my recent adjustment (and it has been an adjustment) to being a stay-at-home Mommy and wife, but I am finally back. 

 Last week I attended the All Staff meeting for LifeChurch.tv, where my husband works and I previously worked. First of all, I felt very blessed to still be a part of what God is doing there and having my life poured into even though I no longer work there. Pastor Craig's main message to the staff and spouses goes along with our current sermon series called My Story. He asked us to be in prayer as we start this year about what our one word for the year would be. What story are we wanting to tell? What do we hope to accomplish? What do you want to be known for in this year? What call has God put on us this year? He asked us to think about all that and put it into one word (not easy for us wordy folks). He also asked us to come up with a verse that goes along with our word and share it with others, so here we go :).

 As I looked forward into 2013 and starting Helping The Hannahs and being a stay-at-home Mom, I realized the word God is telling me to hang onto is focus. I wondered how this could possibly play out and why focus was so important. I looked up the definition of focus and found some very applicable things. Focus is defined as a center of interest or activity; close or narrow attention and to concentrate attention or energy. Some of the things God has been revealing to me is not being so busy and constantly moving. I don't have to control everything and I do not have to be involved in every good thing going on (even though these things may be good). I don't have to keep my house spotless at all times. I don't have to always have everything together.  I don't have to be all things to all people. I must slow down and focus on the calling God has put on my life. This is such a struggle for me for so many reasons, mainly because this seems selfish. I know I will definitely be challenged by my word this year.

 What word do you want your year to be defined by? What story do you want 2013 to tell in your life? I hope and pray that God will lead you to the right word and verse.  I pray it is not simply a New Year's resolution, but really a change in how you live in 2013 and beyond.

 I leave you with my verse that goes along with my word and I pray that I will look back on 2013 and see how focus allowed me to do all the things He has called me to do and let go of the rest!
Colossians 3:2 Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things.