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Tuesday, October 8, 2013

A commitment to refocus

Refocus: To change the emphasis or direction of.

 I have been contemplating what I feel God wants me to share and after a great deal of spiritual highs and lows over the last week, I have finally landed on refocus. Back in January (wow time has flown by), I shared my word for the year as focus. I knew this word would stretch me and make me work really hard to stay on task with all God wanted me to do. I would love to write this blog and list out for you all the amazing ways I have stayed focused this year (that would be arrogant on my part anyway, right?), but to be completely honest I have fallen very short. Don't get me wrong, I do believe I have been in His will, but I believe I may have missed out on some great things He had planned for me by getting side-tracked and allowing fear and doubt to overwhelm me.

 Here goes the hard part for me, vulnerability. What have I been doing? Staying busy, running from one thing to the next, saying yes when I should say no and losing sight of His plan. Last week, I was challenged by my pastor about increasing the capacity in my life. He asked us to get vulnerable and really search where we are lacking in the five areas he shared (confidence, connections, competency, character and commitment) and change that area to increase our capacity.  The area that I was challenged to change was not one I felt I really struggle with, but I definitely felt God's prompting me in the area of commitment. Wait, what commitment, I thought I was displaying commitment? I left a job I loved, with people I loved to do something that makes me no money just because God told me to, isn't that commitment? Well yes, but God wanted so much more from me than just one step of faith.  When I started to evaluate why I was not committing in the way I should, God showed me that I wasn't living a life of true faith, but was being ruled by fear and doubt. Questions that swirled through my mind like, Did I make a mistake? What if I fail? What if I can't reach anyone? Why are things not happening faster? What have I done? had been allowed to take up a permanent  residence in my mind.

 Now I am back on the right road called focus taking steps of faith each day, following after my Creator and allowing Him to take up residence in my mind and heart and overtake those questions, doubts, fears and worries. I am determined to be focused on the right things and I pray the same for your life, don't miss out on what God has planned in and through you!